Hi

Hi everyone... whoever reads me...
I'm starting to think this is, like, my depression blog or something, because I usually write when I'm upset.
So today the subject is, again, Dustin. He broke up with me today. Yeah, the guy I was supposed to marry. For real this time. It's really over... So you can imagine how I feel. It's the worst break up ever. Okay, the other ones before Dustin were pretty bad, but the guys I dated after him weren't as special, I only liked them. With Dustin it was different. I loved him. I still do. I always will. I can't ever forget him, it's the first time I've really been in love. You might wonder how I know, but it's easy, I just know. And I know I could forgive anything he did. I'm sure. He makes me feel like no one has ever done before. But now it's over...
He still wants to be friends, but I think we shouldn't talk for a while. I will miss him... I will miss him so much... But I guess it's for the best. Oh, but the things that are supposed to be for the best hurt so much... And losing Dustin hurts so bad...
It's so bad I don't even know what to write. I'm out of inspiration. I guess I'll write again when I'm inspired.
Love,
Anniselle

School

Hi everyone!
Today is my last day of school. I'm in biology now, but since it's our last day, we're not doing anything. Cool, huh? Well, actually it's kind of boring, cos we don't leave till lunchtime so... yeah...
So I've talked to Dustin and I don't know what's gonna happen, but I'm sure we'll end up together sometime, I just have to fight for him. But I miss him so much... and he's suffering a lot, which is killing me because I'm unconditional and irrevocably in love with him. And yeah, I know that's a quote from "Twilight", but I absolutely love it. I should write a post with my favorite quotes, although I'll do that in my other blog, 6teq.blogspot.com.

Well, lets change the subject. Yesterday we went on a school trip to a city on the north coastline named San Sebastián. It's about an hour away from my city, so we went by bus. I sat with my best friend, Chastity, the whole time. First we took some pictures (which I might upload sometime), and then we listened to music. Jack tried to spoil some of Chastity's photos making faces in the background, which I thought was kind of funny. We went to a science museum, one of those interactive ones, which was fifteen minutes away from the beach. It started raining along the way. When we arrived, it was pouring, and I was the only one in my group of friends with an umbrella, so Chastity, Jack, Irina and the others crowded under it with me. Our teachers, Amelie, Lola and Jules gave us some free time so we could have something to eat, so we went to a little picnic space that had a roof (thank God!). So we ate, and then I dragged Chase to the bathroom because I was wearing a short dress with knee-length leggings, so I wanted to change, although I just put on thick tights and a pair of black ballerinas (my sandals were soaked).
After that we went to the planetarium because we had booked one of those sessions in which they showed you the sky and talked and went on and on, and it was soooooooooo boring. I almost fell asleep, although I was quite tired, so that was not very surprising.
Later, after what seemed an eternity, we finally moved on to the fun part of the museum, the interactive part, which was awesome. I went with Chastity, Jack, and his friends, and we touched everything. There was one of those balls of rays, so I touched it and then gave Chase and Jack a mild electric shock. They were so surprised, they jumped, they really didn't expect that, although I'd done that before to Chastity in some other place. I took some pictures, most of them of  Chase with Jack in the background either distracted or being silly.  We had about an hour of free time in which we explored the museum and wandered through the rooms, and then we had a guided tour, which wasn't as fun because we couldn't touch stuff as much as on our own and we had to be quiet and listen to the guide's explanations.
When we finished with the tour, we had a group photo taken and we hopped back on the bus. Fifteen minutes later we were right in front of the beach. Chastity and I walked around looking for a bathroom and a McDonald's so she could get her dessert and stuff. We didn't find any place were we could go to the bathroom, so we kept on walking till we got to a mall, and there we found the McDonald's (thank God, cos I was so tired of walking). So anyway, we ate lunch and went to the beach, where I ran into my sister Hettie who was also on a school trip. We said hi and then Chase and I went to look for Irina and the others. They were getting dressed. They boys were with them, so we waited for them while we took some pics and then we went to a cafeteria, although Chastity and I didn't have anything. I went outside a minute with her and sang to her the lullaby "Hush, little baby" 'cause she wanted to hear me sing. Shortly after, we went to the bus, and I asked Jack for a kiss because I had made a bet with Chase about that. But Jack said no, so I lost the bet.
Then we went back home and Irina stayed over for a couple of hours, so we bought some candy and chocolate and talked about guys.
So, anyway, I have to go now, my class is almost finished, so I hope you enjoyed my post. I'll write soon, and please leave a comment!
Lots of love,
Anniselle

Check

I was checking out random blogs when I found one that had this game, a list with things, and you had to cross out the things you'd done. I thought it could be interesting, so I copied the list and crossed everything I've done. If you like it, please post a comment with the things you've done before.

Graduated High School

Kissed someone

Smoked cigarettes

Got so drunk you passed out

Rode every ride at an amusement park

Collected something really stupid

Gone to a rock concert

Helped someone

Gone fishing

Watched four movies in one night

Gone long periods of time without sleep

Lied to someone

Snorted cocaine

Failed a class

Smoked weed

Dealt drugs

Taken a college level course

Been in a car accident

Been in a tornado

Done hard drugs (i.e. ecstasy, heroin, crack, meth, acid)

Watched someone die

Been to a funeral

Burned yourself

Ran a marathon

Your parents got divorced

Cried yourself to sleep

Spent over $200 in one day

Flown on a plane

Cheated on someone

Been cheated on

Written a 10 page letter

Gone skiing

Been sailing

Cut yourself

Had a best friend

Lost someone you loved

Shoplifted something

Been to jail (I was just visiting)

Had detention

Skipped school

Got in trouble for something you didn’t do

Stolen books from the library

Gone to a different country

Dropped out of school

Been in a mental hospital

Watched the “Harry Potter” Movies

Had an online diary

Fired a gun

Gambled in a casino

Had a yard sale

And a lemonade stand

Actually made money at the lemonade stand

Been in a school play

Been fired from a job

Taken a lie detector test

Swam with dolphins

Gone to sea world

Attempted suicide

Voted for American/Australian idol

Written poetry

Read more than 20 books a year

Gone to Europe

Loved someone you couldn’t have

Wondered about your sexuality

Used a colouring book over age 12

Had surgery

Had stitches

Taken a taxi

Seen the Washington Monument

Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once

Overdosed

Had a drug or alcohol problem

Been in a fist fight

Suffered any form of abuse

Had a hamster

Petted a wild animal

Used a credit card

Gone surfing in California

Dyed your hair

Did “spirit day” at school

Got a tattoo

Had something pierced

Got straight A’s

Been on the Honor Roll

Known someone with HIV or AIDS

Taken pictures with a webcam

Started a fire

Had a party while your parents weren’t home

Gotten caught having a party while they were gone

Okay, I haven't done much, but I'm just seventeen, so I still have a whole lifetime to do the good things on this list. 

Love,

Anniselle 

Lonely

I was just listening to the song "Lonely" by Akon. I started crying and I can't really stop... I'm upset because I'm dating an American boy, Dustin. I love him. I really do. And I think he does too... Then you'll be asking yourself why am I so sad... Well, there's another girl. We're both his girlfriends, but she was there first. So, basically, if love is between just two people, I'm the bitch who doesn't know how to count. But I know Dustin could be The One, he's just perfect for me, but his girl, Kayla, doesn't think so. She got so upset when she found out about me, she started cutting herself... And I feel awful... And here I am, torturing myself and crying, probably till I fall asleep out of exhaustion. 
I just.... I don't know what I'm doing anymore....

Love....I guess....


Anniselle

And the days keep passing by. . .

Dear no one:
My life is a mess. Ever since I lost my best friend I've had trouble being happy again. And now...I thought I had overcome everything that made me feel so bad. But now I realize I haven't... I just keep feeling this hole inside of me, and I try to fill it with talking or with food... and when I think it's full, it just gets bigger. I keep crying myself to sleep and have horrible nightmares... I feel so lonely... And I can't escape from this.. Every time I try, the pain finds me again. What did I do in a past life to deserve this?  I think I'm going crazy.... Could it really be?

I don't know anything anymore... Everything that was there is gone....Everything that's left is slowly falling apart... I don't know anyone anymore... Those who were my friends, betrayed me.. The ones who remain, slowly change as I do at the same time... My heart keeps getting broken into pieces... and each piece breaks into smaller shards... Those whom I once loved disappear without a backward glance... Their presence is but a memory in the back of my head... Time goes by slowly.... The clock ticks lazily, but I no longer listen... Petals of a rose keep falling... The wind keeps blowing.... Rain splatters my window... The mist in my head grows thicker, confusing me, clouding my thoughts... Why? That's the only answer I need...  Tears run down my cheeks, but no one will care, no one will see... They'll never know they are doing this to me... And now, on my pillow I'll rest again my head, once more I'll quietly go to bed, hoping to someday wake up next to someone that will care, who will embrace me and stroke my hair, someone who will truly love me and whom I'll love back... But I know that tomorrow won't be such a different day, I'll smile and say "hey", no one will notice something's wrong, and life will go on...  

Anniselle

Seth...

Dear whoever reads this,
As I've said in my last post, I have a friend named Seth. We made up after the fight we had last week, but now we had another fight. I've been very sensitive lately... I'm constantly upset because I feel empty inside. So when I speak to people I get upset or snap at anything... We had a really stupid fight and I apologized, but he just said "OK". Literally. I hope we can go back to normal soon... I love him as my friend...
Anniselle

What a night...

Hi everyone,
Right now it's 3 a.m., I can't sleep and no one I want to talk to is online.
Today I'd like to talk about one of my classmates, Seth. He's a bit taller than me, but not much, brown hair, brown eyes, baby-faced. He looks quite innocent. He's funny. But. Yeah, there's ALWAYS a but. Well, the problem with him is me. Okay, that sounds weird. Let me explain. We started talking some weeks ago, I mean,like, really talking. Before we used to hand out with the group (with Jack, Cael, Bianca and the rest) and we hardly ever talked. I'd say we've become friends, and that's what he's said... But he's been kind of stroppy lately. You see, I had written a very long note for Chastity in English class and gave it to her then. She took long to answer and gave it to me the next day. In this note, well, we wrote about Seth. And after our morning break, I lost it. It seems some of my peers found it and read it aloud. So now they are laughing at Seth and me. Why? Well... Seth and I had been talking about us making out after school, or maybe even going all the way, because we're both kind of attracted to each other, and I told Chase about it in the note. I also said I was dying to kiss him and that I wouldn't mind dating him. Okay, I do not like him. I think. But what I said in the note is true...
So, anyway, he's been kind of rude ever since our classmates read the note... And now, I made another mistake. A big one. We were talking, and I asked what was he up to. He said "nothing" and asked me. I told him I was talking to Irina and that I had been telling her what I'd told Chastity previously. He was quite insistent, so I told him what we'd been talking about. I told him that both Iri and Chase thought that I liked him. And I didn't really deny it, because I'm not sure. He got kind of mad and said to me, sarcastically, "Great! Now go tell everyone, that not enough people are laughing at me". Then he went straight to bed. I've been upset ever since. Actually, I've been upset most of the day, but anyway, that's another story. If you want to know, just message me.
There's another big problem to all this. I'm dating a guy named Serhiy, which I have written about in 6teq.blogspot.com. I'll write soon again about him.  Seth is also seeing someone, a girl from another city, which he visits with his family from time to time. They're not very serious, but still...
Ugh, I'm so mixed up with everything and everything is messed up...
If you think you could help giving advice or telling a personal experience or something, then leave a comment or contact me through my blogger profile.

Yours,

Anniselle

Hiiii!!!!

Hey, I have an awesome video from last year, of me dancing with some girls. It was our show for our hip hop/funky dance class. I'm the tall blonde girl in light blue, I'm next to a tall black-haired girl in red most of the time.



I hope it works well.
Love,
Anniselle

Domingo

Siento no haber escrito, pero entre que tenía clases y tarea y entre que me he echado novio no he tenido mucho tiempo. He estado escribiendo la continuación del prologo que tengo en el blog de anniselle-angelofdusk.blogspot.com.  No tengo mucho que decir, además estoy editando otras entradas para anniselle-s-drawings.blogspot.com. Pronto me inspirare y escribire algo, lo prometo.
Por ahora os deseo un buen día.
Love, 
Anniselle

Hello

Hi, I haven't written because I haven't had time, I've been quite busy. Well, anyway, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Tomorrow I go back to school (Yay...), so I've spent most of the day studying and finishing my homework and stuff. It's been such a boring day. Well, I really don't know what to write, nothing exciting has happend. I guess I'll write soon again about school, but first I have to fix acouple of things.
Bye, and I promise I'll be back as soon as I can
Anniselle